Men with PE have a lack of ejaculatory control, which can cause psychological distress among men who suffer from it. Likewise, partners of men with premature ejaculation express dissatisfaction with the timing of ejaculation, and may also experience reduced self-esteem and sexual pleasure.
Premature ejaculation is usually an unmistakable experience to a man or his partner, but through the years it has been difficult for professionals to agree on a precise definition of this common sexual concern. As Helen Kaplan, M.D. and other professionals point out, this phenomenon may occur because the man is unable to recognize that he is about to ejaculate. And even when he does recognize he is approaching ejaculation, he feels he is unable to control or delay the process.
Premature ejaculation occurs when a man reaches orgasm and ejaculates too quickly and without control. In other words, ejaculation occurs before a man wants it to happen. It may occur before or after beginning foreplay or intercourse. Some men experience a lot of personal distress because of this condition.
Premature ejaculation is one of the most common sexual problems. The condition is most often described as being an inability to delay ejaculation to a point when it is mutually desirable for both partners. The definition of when ejaculation is premature is subjective. While some men have trouble controlling their orgasm upon entry, others consider 5-10 minutes of copulation too little time. How long a man is able to last is not the important factor in diagnosing premature ejaculation. The crucial issue is if a man is satisfied with the length of coitus. (read more on cause of premature ejaculation)
More on cause of premature ejaculation
For many years, sex experts have tended to say that premature ejaculation is caused by early 'conditioning'. In other words, the man's early, rushed (and perhaps furtive) sexual experiences had to be quick - so as to avoid detection! The idea is that all this hectic rush 'conditions' him to climax as quickly as possible.
"The penis can be trained without the hassle of starting and stopping or pressing your fingers anywhere," says sex therapist and former sex surrogate Anita Banker-Riskin, coauthor (with her husband, Michael Riskin) of Simultaneous Orgasm & Other Joys of Sexual Intimacy (Hunter House, 1997). "But first you must make the effort to develop your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle, which you’re now sitting on. The PC muscle involuntarily contracts as you ejaculate, causing semen to fly. But if you purposely contract it during the peak of sex, the PC muscle, says Banker-Riskin, acts like the brakes on a car and can bring an ejaculation to a halt. "Like any other muscle, you need to exercise the PC," says Banker-Riskin.
The main cause of premature ejaculation is biological. Upon sexual stimulation and arousal, the normal physical responses for a man and a woman are similar. A man will achieve a climax and then ejaculate about two to three minutes after penetrating the vagina. Women will reach orgasm about 12 to 14 minutes after intercourse occurs. Many women do not achieve orgasm especially if only penetration of the vagina by the penis occurs during sexual activity. Many women achieve orgasm through other methods of sexual stimulation although for some, orgasm is not achieved under any circumstances nor with any type of stimulation. Roughly 10% of women fall into this category. Other causes of premature ejaculation include psychological factors such as marital and relationship issues; performance anxiety (with partners new to each other and especially in the inexperienced partner); fear (associated with concerns regarding getting caught or discovered, sexually transmitted diseases or potential pregnancy ); and guilt (believing the activity is sinful e.g., premarital or extramarital sex).
Although premature ejaculation is one of the most common male sexual disorders, it remains widely under-diagnosed and under-treated. Most physicians do not screen for premature ejaculation and patients are extremely reluctant to talk about the condition with their partners or health care professionals. premature ejaculation can have a significant impact on many aspects of a man's life. It can affect his and his partner's sexual satisfaction and their ability to build and maintain relationships - both sexual and non-sexual - and can impact a man's general sense of self-confidence.
cause of premature ejaculation
The emergence of sexual tension and relationship difficulties are greatly reduced if sexual activity occurs under these circumstances: only after the partners know each other well and are comfortable with one another. Both partners consent to sexual intimacy without feeling pressured. Sexual activity should occur in a private and relaxed setting. In addition, contraception issues should be discussed, decided and acted upon by the couple. Squeeze Methods: this method involves either the man or his partner squeezing (fairly firmly) the end or the tip of the penis for 10 to 20 seconds when ejaculation is imminent, withholding stimulation for about 30 seconds, then continuing stimulation. This can be repeated until ejaculation is desired. The stop and start method can be used with the squeeze method as well.
However, the primary treatment of ejaculatory control is helping a man, by various techniques, to repeatedly focus his attention on the increasing erotic sensations in his body as he approaches orgasm. By increasing his awareness of the buildup of these pleasurable sensations he is better able to judge where he is along the path of reaching an orgasm and ejaculating. (Note: orgasm and ejaculation are separate events, caused by separate systems in the male's body, though they usually occur at the same time. The term orgasm is commonly used when speaking of a male's ejaculation. Technically, however, orgasm is just the peak of the intense pleasurable feeling that usually follows a man being highly sexually excited.
The knowledge of normal male and female sexual responses prior to engaging in sexual activity may be helpful in preventing premature ejaculation. (read more on cause of premature ejaculation)
cause of premature ejaculation - Tips
The program we recommend for learning ejaculatory control is very likely to provide your lover with greater sexual enjoyment, but not just because you last longer. Women generally prefer leisurely, playful, whole-body, massage-oriented sensuality that includes the genitals but is not limited to them. Women's main complaints about men's sexual style are that it's too rushed, too mechanical, too eager for intercourse, and that it focuses only on the breasts and genitals. Women generally feel that the whole body is a sensual playground, and can't understand why so many men explore only a few corners of it. Like women, penises generally prefer leisurely, playful, whole-body, massage-oriented lovemaking. The rushed, penis-centered, intercourse-fixated sex style puts a lot of pressure on the penis, and leads to premature ejaculation. But when men make love the way women prefer, whole-body arousal takes the pressure off your penis and you last longer. Basically, if men would make love the way women prefer, women would have fewer complaints, and men would have fewer sex problems.
Some penile skin creams advertise that they help a man last longer. These products contain topical anesthetics that dull sensation in the penis. If you like to play with penile sensation, there's no harm in using them. But they're not a good idea for learning to last longer. They dull sensation. But the key to lasting longer is for the man to become more familiar with what he feels so he can back off from his point of no return while still remaining highly aroused.
Make some noise. Love moans help men (and women) relax, and they often help men last longer.
